America,

America,
    Why is it is always too hot or too cold?

America,
    I’ve got one word for you: Thermostats

America,
    When we came to Brooklyn, the landlord said we should
    open the window if it got too warm

America,
    You know how this hurts my fragile northern soul

America,
    It is not exactly rocket science

America,
    The right temperature is patriotic too

America,
    I have a truckload of Danish radiator controls to sell you

America,
    Who cheers when you open that window?

 

 

 

(With apologies to Allen Ginsberg.)

5 thoughts on “America,”

  1. That’s really more of a Northeast thing. Once you get to warmer climes, like VA or FL or TX or other places, everything is nicely climate controlled everywhere.

  2. Jesper: You were almost certainly renting an apartment in a building heated by an early 20th-century steam heating system with cast-iron radiators. The valves on the radiators can be adjusted to increase or decrease the amount of heat they put out, but since the same steam runs through all the pipes in the building. Also, you typically have to heat the building to keep the “worst case” warm — that is, the 90 year-old woman in the ground-floor apartment (heat rises so higher ones are hotter, and older people feel the chill more). Consequently much of the rest of the building roasts, even with the radiator valves closed.

    Thermostats alone wouldn’t solve the problem; you’d have to rip out the whole heating system and put something more modern in, which isn’t cheap.

    As for Darius X: The average New Yorker emits, over the course of a year, about one-third of the average American. Inefficient heating systems notwithstanding.

  3. Really should proof before posting. The average New Yorker emits one third the carbon dioxide of the average American.

  4. So true. Never inhabited those old heated buildings myself, but everyone I know who did complains of those freezing grannies.

    Also, though this is just a guess since I’m in no way an expert in American construction standards, the houses are probably less well-isolated than in northern countries.

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